Disguises of Love

Written by Eddie Askew (1927-2007) – former general secretary of The Leprosy Mission.

Lord, there are times

when silence seems best.

And yet, when I’m faced with your love,

even with the little I know, I have to speak.

If nothing else, to say thank you.

I don’t deserve it.

Now there’s an understatement.

Sometimes all I am and do

seems designed to test your love to the limit.

And you go on loving.

Lord, it’s breathtaking. Immense.

I hear your voice, carrying crystal clear over the vast plain,

re-affirming life and presence.

A small point of focus in infinity. Infinity of love.

Great enough for all. Small enough for me.

A love that comes to identify, to tell me I belong.

That comes to strengthen to tell me it’s mine.

That comes to comfort with the knowledge that you care.

A love that comes to challenge and discipline at the point of stress.

That stretches me nearly to breaking point and makes me grow.

That faces me, in searching, insistent strength,

with the pain of truth I’d rather not see.

That strips my illusions and leaves me trembling, naked,

in the cold wind of honesty.

The love that fights me as I struggle to preserve the lies I love

from the buffeting storm of your Spirit.

And through it all,

a love that holds me, firm and close.

Making me aware, in the eye of the cyclone, of your peace.

And in the wind-drop of understanding,

my ears still ringing, eyes still smarting, from the gale,

I recognise our love.

In the glacier wind as in the valley breeze.

Seeing, as in the crackling flash of brief lightning,

brilliant and clear,

some of the disguises of your love.

Lord, I know there’s more,

but I’m not ready for it yet.

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