“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ” -Buddha
Rethink Your Definition of Forgiveness
You might think that forgiveness is about the following:
- Condoning what the other person did.
- Giving in.
- Turning the other cheek.
- Pretending that nothing happened or that it really wasn’t such a big deal.
- Admitting that your anger isn’t justified or that you’re not entitled to it.
- Forcing yourself to get along with someone who you feel may hurt you again.
If so, then you’re probably going to be very reluctant to forgive. And with good reason. Instead, try changing your definition of forgiveness to the following:
- Forgiveness is about freeing up and putting to better use the energy that is being consumed by holding on to grudges, harbouring resentments, and nursing old wounds.
- Forgiveness is about moving on.
- Forgiveness is about choosing serenity and happiness over righteous anger.
- Forgiveness is about refusing to replay past hurts in your mind over and over again, like a broken record.
- Forgiveness is about realizing that anger and resentment don’t serve you well.
- Forgiveness is about giving yourself a clean slate.
Please follow this link to read an article on a Cognitive Behavioural Model for forgiveness.